Good Friday - Sunday's Coming

Good Friday is normally a day of great significance to me on a personal level. I normally spend it with family or friends. This year has been a bit different.

The battles my family and friends have been fighting are massive, and can appear insurmountable. There has been death, financial loss on a massive scale, severe illness and in-fighting within the family that has left division and wounds on both sides.

Hardly a way to begin Easter weekend.

I have spen the day asleep, sleeping from around midnight Thursday into Friday until after 6pm today. Now I find myself thinking about the year so far.

I am not happy in my job. It's showing in my behaviour there. I feel it's tie to leave in my heart but I see no clear path to move in. I hear no voice saying this is the way to walk in. Ironically, God seaks to me to give messages for my friends and family in encouragement.  Confirmation of their visions and dreams being from Him who made our paths, but not for myself. I can't understand it. I habe no option but to concede that my own selfish desires are getting in the way. I look to my own understanding too much of the time.

A few years ago I had a near miss while I was swimming off a beach in South Devon. I love the ocean, and this particular beach is a great beach to swim at, no currents to pull you out to sea, just a gentle beach slope into the water. We swam out to a row of buoys and back then lay in the sun enjoying good company. It never occurred to me that the tide was coming in when we set out for a final swim before going home. We swam out to the buoys again, but the distance was much further. By the time we reached them I barely had the strength to hold onto the ropes holding it in place. As we set off for the shore again, I knew I wouldn't make it. My breathing was laboured, my muscles screaming, and I couldn't reach land. I didn't have the strength for one stroke. Then a voice from behind me offered me help. A lifeguard had been watching over me and seen my struggle. Before I reached the buoy he launched a small powered dinghy and took a circuit round to approach me safely. I didn't have the strength to hold the ropes on the side of the boat. I was heavy and exhausted. Easily the heaviest in the group (by over 25kg/50lbs). The rescue guard hauled me out of the water into the boat and took us back to land.

I feel a little like that now. Out of my depth, unable to pull myself onto the rescue boat that has come to drag me to safety. But it's Friday.

Good Friday.

A friend posted a slightly fascetious comment on facebook which I take very seriously. Thank Christ for dying.

I agree. But not with the sentiment he made.

I see a truth in his statement.

Thank Christ for Good Friday, Thank Him for surrendering to death on a cross to save us. Our life-boat. For pulling us out of the the ocean of this world and setting us up with life.

Jesus died on Friday. But Sunday's coming.

The Good; The Bad and The Ugly

No, this isn't about th iconic Clint Eastwood Spaghetti Western. If that's what you're looking for, well read on anyway - you have nothing to lose...

I am a man with simple tastes, for a first-world boy. I just want hot and cold water, fire in the hearth when it's cold and a fan when it's hot, my dvd player not to refuse to play my favourite disc (even though I've played it so often it looks worn out to me), a good cup of tea (after all, I am English) and an income enough to meet these needs.

Basic first world stuff.

Unfortunately, I no longer live in the first-world. No matter what the TV coverage of the soccer world cup a couple of years ago may have suggested, South Africa is in no way a first world country.

I earn around $800 per month - depending on the exchange rate - with the possibility of a monthly incentive of up to $300 on top of that. Assuming I make average incentive every month, the financial laws here would allow me to pay a mortgage bond of around 30% of my salary. So if I assume my average monthly income to be $1000 I can pay a bond up to $300. Sounds ok, until you examine the other facts:

1. in the last 10 years house prices have almost tripled while incomes have not increased by half that. A house that cost around $40000 ten years ago is generally worth around $100000 now.
2. Interest rates are around 9% - 10%, so the average person looking at a $40000 house 10 years ago has to look at houses in line with their income - they can now only afford a house of $75000.
3. Electricity has increased dramatically as government forward planning didn't account for the increase in demand. Ten years ago I spent around $15 a month on electricity. Now I spend $20 per week - after converting to cooking on gas.
4. Rateable value tax on property is based on the house's current market value, not what you paid for it. The result? Many people fall behind in their rates and water bills because of the increase in charges being more than the increase in income.

In real financial terms, the majority of people have significantly less spending power than they did 10 years ago. 

That's the bad.

So far probably wondering what this little rant has to do with God, given this is a God-driven blog. Keep with it.

Here's the ugly...

In the last few months, vinyard workers in the Western Cape have gone on strike asking for a pay rise to $10 a day. Miners and others classified as "unskilled" workers were fired on by police officials. People died. In scenes straight out of the apartheid era they were gunned down by police. Deaths were inevitable.
At the same time, the nation's president has been accused of using public funds to build a new homestead for his personal use - not an official residence which will be passed to the next incumbent. Costs into millins of dollars diverted into the project. Yet he claims to be "in touch" with the people.

Here's the Good:

God's power is moving in this land. People are being positioned strategically for a new outpouring of His Spirit. Dormant believers are being activated, latent gifts unused in years but gently ticking away are being turned up to maximum. New skills are being discovered and revealed to God's children.The fight may be intense for some of us, but suddenly there are warriors with a fierce heart around us, on our side. The storm hits, but we are supported enough to get through it intact.

There are Truths to overcome the facts:

1. He will never let our circumstances dictate His outcome.
2. Our abilities are not the issue - Our trust in His Provision is what matters
3. Irrespective of the circumstances, God ALWAY has our best interest at heart
4. The rates, taxes and fuel prices, the "shopper's basket" and the buying power of the consumer is irrelevant. If God has given it to us, all we are charged with is receiving.

 So maybe this title shoud be "The Bad, The Ugly and God's Still Good"

What do you think?.

Another Day, Another Heartache

It's been an interesting 2 weeks.  This entry has more of a "story" than most of my writing on this blog, but bear with me. There's a point to it all...

My wife's Grandmother, lovingly known to us all as Mamma, passed away and her funeral was held - in Windhoek. Having applied for leave from my employer - who out of "respect" I'll not name here - offered me the Friday and Tuesday off to travel from Cape Town to Windhoek by road. 1000 miles approximately. Each way. I pointed out that it had to be Friday & Monday. Thankfully, the management understood, and granted me emergency leave to attend the funeral.

It's a long drive - around 15 hours. I actually love the road. The first time I drove it I was captivated by the beauty of the landscape, and the emptiness of the land.

There are so few corners in the road that my first thoughts were of the old Roman Roads in England, but they are way shorter than this one. The entire country is shorter than this road. The road is hypnotic in its sameness. It just blends into itself during the drive, the only changes coming as we pass a limestone quarry or as the light changes during the drive.

I drove up with my wife and her brother. The drive was long - no breaks setting off at 11pm and driving until the middle of the afternoon the following day, only stopping for fuel. I can't sleep in a car - not for lack of trying - so by the time we arrived on Friday I was exhausted and had been awake for 36 hours straight. I slept for a couple of hours then we had what for our Namibian family was the third memorial service in a week. I didn't follow most of it as the talks were all in Afrikaans, however although limited in speaking, I did manage to glean some of what was spoken as the minister spoke from Romans 8:18-39. It was a deeply moving service, for all my lack of understanding the language, the spirit of the service was as clear as crystal.

Saturday saw the funeral itself. Six hours in Afrikaans in the church and at the graveside. Didn't understand the words, but the spirit was again completely clear. It was a beautiful and moving experience for a very special lady.

We set off to drive home on the Sunday, arriving Monday evening. I drove the majority of the homeward leg. While driving through the night is a stressful experience in itself, having a large bird of prey eating carrion on the road as you come round a corner, take off and fly head first into the bonnet of the car. It certainly woke me up. Hitting something big enough to disable a car at 140kph is a disturbing experience. Stopping and looking at the damage and realising God was protecting us from the impact is humbling. Just 1cm either way and the car would be undriveable. Closer to the passenger side and it would have ripped into the headlight and wing, crushing the wing into the wheel and causing the car to spin out of control. Closer to the driver's side would have destroyed the radiator which would cause the engine to seize in short order. The only impact point where there would be nothing but superficial damage was the exact point of the impact.

I went to work on Tuesday, but was wrecked by the end of the day. On Wednesday I apparently called my manager, although I don't remember doing so, I woke up in the afternoon. Thursday I went in again, and only got through the day by my wife bringing me bioplus caffeine tablets. I made the decision at that point that I was not fit to work and made an appointment for the following day to see my GP.

As we were settling down to rest in the evening we got a call from my sister-in-law. My wife's brother had been taken seriously ill. We went through to their home where she assessed him and made the arrangement that she would sort out hospitalisation the following morning.

Friday saw my brother-in-law admitted to hospital and my doctor sign me out of work until the following Wednesday - officially diagnosed with stress and burnout. I thank God for the support he has placed around me. That His Grace has proven sufficient in strength to carry me this far, and to allow me to give support to my wife and her mother at this time.

I went back on Wednesday as planned, and although tired at the end of the day I had peace about being back. Thursday was a normal day, and then Friday...

Friday was raining. I suited up - anyone who knows me knows I'm a biker. Have been for 20 years. The problem with being a biker is on a wet road you're vulnerable. For the second time in 12 months the bike slid out from under me - fortunately this time it was a low-speed fall.

"For He shall give His angels charge over you, To keep you in all your ways.
 In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone." Psalm 91:11-12

My wife, understandably given the firestorm she's been through in the last few weeks, is not thrilled at me riding any longer.

I see something different. I have bruises, not broken bones. I have mild headache, not concussion. My rainsuit is undamaged, and the bike runs as though nothing was wrong. The most damage is one slightly bent footrest, which doesn't interfere with the running of the bike at all.

The point of the story for me?

God keeps His promises. He never promised we would not know heartache, loss and suffering. He promised He would hold us through them.

Or as Paul put it:


"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 38-39

Turnabout

Turnabout is a funny thing. It's the essence of Christianity. The jargon tends to use "repent", but the basic meaning is the same.

In the last 2 years our family life has undergone a turnabout. In a big way..

My wife was diagnosed with a terminal illness, I had to move from us earning in excess of R70000 per month to less than R10000, but with the same outgoings. Try it sometime - it cripples you financially. Our formerly reliable car has developed old age problems and started breaking down at inopportune moments. We have a family of 4 moved into our spare room in December who will be a family of 5 by the end of the week, and I get almost no downtime to decompress.

I'm a late-night person, technically, but it's trying to balance that from the perspective of the chaos surrounding me that distresses me. I can't find anything. My kitchen, which is filthy, is atrocious. I love the family, and they have accommodation from March, but a huge part of me wises they could stay. In the last 2 months they have grown immensely, and so have I. I've been a father to them (yikes) and a surrogate grandfather to their children. Their antics push back my time for myself, time to recharge. This weeked I'll be travelling to Namibia to attend the funeral of a very dear lady, Mama, Rene's grandmother. She's doing ok under the circumstances, but our finances are totally skewed for February month end. I'm even cosidering dropping the level of medical cover I have to make it more affordable.

Our life got turned about.

In the last few days, Rene has sart saying if it can fall apart so easily, then we can see it turn around into God;s idea for our life.

The turnabout nature is exactly what God wants for us. Turning away from Satan and his wiles, submitting to God and seeing him flee from us like James describes. Capturing every thought and allowing God to have free reign in our lives allows us to live Free.

Living by God's rules, making that turnabout into His Church family gives us freedom beyond our imagination. Allowing the Holy Spirit to set up His home in our heart allows the fruit of the spirit to grow. It allows us to move in ways impossible without. We can literally see the sick healed, the deaf hear, the blind see and the dead rise.

Freedom from death, freedom from debt, freedom from sickness. Restored relationship with God. There's no guarantees on this issue though. I love my wife dearly, but that has opened me up to attack through her and the other people I care about. My best friend at work, an invaluable warrior in the Spirit has had her own battles to fight, some of the most vicious coming after she became my best friend, standing by me and supporting me. It's the way Satan operates. His attacks on them break me down, try to force me to capitulate and sing his tune in place of the Glorious Worship God places in my heart.

Its not pretty befriending someone on the front line. In the first world war, there was a cameraderie between the soldiers which was cautious in many cases because they didn't know if tomorrow they were going to be dead. In the great stories there is always a core group around the central character. Frodo has the Fellowship, Bilbo has the company of Thorin and his companions, Maximus is supported by the other Gladiators, Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy fall into Narnia and Aslan has prepared an army for them. Even in TV shows you'd not expect it, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel surround themselves with a circle of friends who fight and are ready to die for the cause. Jack O'Neill has SG1 and Jack Bauer has CTU. It's a hard life for the central character, they have their story and the result turns their lives around on an episode by episode basis, just as a reflection of what happens in the real world.

Turnaround, repentance, whatever you want to call it is essential to our walk. We must remember that we are part of the inner circle that walks with Jesus, and it's an awesome existence. If we don't meet resistance from Satan and his forces, it generally means we're moving in the same direction!

Turn around, trust Christ and let Him give you True Freedom.

Shades of Grey

I was challenged recently by a close friend of my wife. I posted a comment on my facebook page I had believed to be quoted from Bill Cosby, and found I agreed with the majority of what was said, so I re-posted it.

I have discovered since that it was actually a quote from a US Senator in a 2009 blog (http://tartanmarine.blogspot.com/2009/02/robert.html)

The current version of the post talks of people who deliberately leech from Western society, taking advantage of the average tax-payer by deliberately changing their appearances to prevent them being offered employment, and an array of social issues, but also it speaks of Islam.

Now I'm not someone who generally sets out to offend people, although the meaning of "tact" and "subtle" are alien concepts to me. I speak my mind, and feel free to disagree with me as much as you wish - I have my opinions, I believe in Biblical principles, and if you don't then it doesn't mean we can't be friends in the worldly sense, but you're unlikely to be in my innermost circle.

I'm hardcore. I believe the Bible literally - in the original language meanings, not necessarily the English translations as they are only as accurate as the individual translator when a word has a plethora of uses or meanings. English is not the rich language it once was, and as a consequence some nuances from the original get lost in translation. My favourite example is when a friend who'd studied geology told me we were living in the seventh major geological era. I thought about it, and suddenly Genesis makes sense. Exchange the word "day" for the word "Era" and suddenly we have a very different picture of creation. An era can be thousands of years, some even more. But the seventh is still a work in progress - like us.

Back to literal. The quote offending my wife's best friend objects to the liberal Western society putting up with watering down their societies by allowing Islamic places of worship and schools to be built, whilst the countries many of these people have fled from refuse to allow Christian places of Worship or educational facilities to be privately funded. Indeed a group in one country,  was prosecuted under a local Islamic "blasphemy" law ruling the use of "Allah" may only refer to Islam, no other deity. Fine with me, as I pray in the name of Jesus, but the local churches had printed a Bible in local colloquial language to teach the Gospel and had used "Allah" where in English "God" would have been used.

I'm not right-wing in most of my views, but I'm learning the value of principles. The Bible says we should let our Yes mean YES, and our no mean NO! Easy to say, but hard to do. Especially in a customer-service environment. Harder in a multi-cultured society like South Africa where individual beliefs are taken by many as sacrosanct.

I'm a firm believer that Jesus Christ is the Way, Truth and Life. I know nobody comes to God the Father unless they accept His sacrifice. My wife's friend knows I believe this, so we generally don't speak of our religions to maintain the peace for the sake of her friendship with my wife.

This time was different. I believe CS Lewis said something to the effect that the Truth of the Christian Message will always provoke a reaction one way or the other. In this case, it was opposition. Strong opposition.

My agreeing with the statement did not alter when I found out it wasn't Bill Cosby who'd made it. My understanding of the statement stands, and I will not try to water down the message. I acknowledge that the teachings of Islam have been twisted into a weapon to attack the West, just as 1000 years ago the teachings of Christianity were twisted to justify the Crusades (Genghis Khan school of Evangelism). A fundamentally peaceful teaching used to break spirits and wills and force that religion down people's throats.

Christianity is about absolutes. Jesus' message wasn't "be good and we'll accept you, regardless of who you believe in", it was clear: Believe in Jesus and accept His sacrifice made in your stead, or die. Through the entire Bible we see God say this, but follow it instantly with the instruction to choose life because He loves us.

I love and respect my wife's friends who are not Christians. They are entitled to their opinion, and to make their own choices. But I refuse to compromise my faith to accommodate theirs. If we go to their home for a meal I am not offered a pork chop, but halal beef or chicken. No wine with the meal. Don't get me wrong, the food is delicious, and they are wonderful hosts - I enjoy her family's company enormously, but they will not eat at our home. I don't have Halal cookware. My pots and pans and crockery have ham, bacon or pork on it or prepared in it once a week on average, in fact I have ham sandwiches most days for work. I did, at one point, have 2 braai/barbeque griddles, one for Halal meat (with paper plates) and one for non-halal foods. I don't any more. It was a waste of space. If you enter my home and eat my food, it will most likely not be Halal.

I don't expect our muslim friends to provide non-halal food to us. I disagree with the faith, but it's an individual's right to choose.

There's no space for grey in God's world. Grey isn't one thing or the other. And it never can be anything but grey once the world gets hold of it. The Power of Words results in misunderstanding & miscommunication when they are taken out of context.

I, along with millions of Christians around the world, believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to relationship with God. It's not rocket science. Biblical scripture declares it to be so, and I have an ongoing relationship with God through Jesus that sustains me. I make mistakes, but they will not result in me being cast out into Hell because I accept the Salvation of the sacrifice of Christ on my behalf. Anyone can.

But there's no half measures in Christianity. Either you're Christian or you're not. Black or white.

There's no room for grey.

What If...?

In the office next to mine they have a poster up that says "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

I've seen it every day, more or less, for the last 18 months. Today a deeper question struck me as I was walking through the office.

I started asking myself "What if I took Jesus' Words literally?"

What if I did? How would it change my way of living in this world?

The more I think about it, the more I realise how little I actually grasp of what Jesus said, and what the promises of God for our lives actually mean. Health, prosperity, the entire life of eternity in our hearts right now.

Imagine for a moment fulfilling the promises of God. Doing what Jesus did. Speaking His words. Thinking His thoughts. Living His life for us.

What if the Bible is true? What if chasing the trappings of this world is a distraction? What if the promotion, the car and the house are not permanent?

What if the only thing you can count on is this one book of stories written over thousands of years?

 I'm a Christian, anyone reading this blog can hardly not see that from my topics and writing (I hope)

What if I'm right? What if this world isn't all there is? What if Allah is a false god? Or Shiva? Or Buddah?

What if Jesus is the only way to God?

What do you lose by believing in Christ and accepting His Love?

Think for a moment: What do you lose if I'm right?

Choose Life, it's free - but it'll cost

Life is a free gift from God. More than that, it's His desire for us.

In Deuteronomy 30:19 God has just outlined through Moses the lists of the Blessings for obeying His Law, and the Curses for breaking it. Then comes the clincher - "I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live"

The statement is stunning - it's our choice.

Heaven or hell is our choice.

Forgiveness or bitterness - our choice.

Ours.

All power in Heaven and Earth is in His hands. He can wipe us from existence and start over. Satan's biggest gamble paid off. He gambled God wouldn't wipe out creation because of His Love for us. He gambled God would choose to give us a choice.

Choose Life.

It's free, but it costs everything. To truly choose Life means to turn away from everything this world offers. Revenge, unrighteous anger, lust. Doesn't sound so difficult really, except for one thing - we make that system. We build that kingdom one brick at a time through our lives until we open ourselves to Christ and choose Life.

Choose Life

We can't just forget the old way of thinking. Even Paul wasn't immune to it. "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." (Romans 7:15) It's programmed into us by the curse. We battle our old nature daily in every choice we make. Every decision requires us to rebel against the old man. To choose Life requires us to declare war on Satan.

We must declare war on what put us where we are. Kick away the ladder we are standing on. Saw off the tree limb where we are sitting.

The difference is the outcome. By trusting God, the Truth is revealed. The ladder is shown to be an illusion, the tree falls and the branch remains steady.

The cost of Life is persecution. The reward is relationship with God on an intimate level. The world hates God and His People because the Light exposes the darkness in them. As John writes: "the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it." (John 1:5) Another translation reads "has not overcome it". 

Persecution comes in many forms. It can be blatant oppression in some places - threatening of life and limb. In Western societies it is more subtle - loss of status, preference given to people who will compromise their beliefs and many other subtle attacks that undermine our faith or expression of it. The insidious nature of of the persecution means we are often blindsided by the attack until we have been totally disabled by it. We compromise in the name of convenience and a desire to not "rock the boat", when what we should do is hold fast to our confession, capsizing the boat if necessary.

Choose Life. Live. Resist the persecution and the temptation to compromise

Choose Life that you and your family may live. Let the cost be what it may, the cost is worth the Price Jesus paid.

Choose Life.

Old Problem in Newtown

In the weeks since the tragedy in Newtown I've read many things about the "solution" to preventing repeats. Most of it is remarkably similar to what was said after Columbine. Gun control, improved security in schools, better escape access. Now I read someone has even suggested training teachers in the use of firearms.

Terrifyingly stupid.

The Governor of Connecticut said "Evil visited this community today" on the day of the tragedy. That statement has been lost in the following media clamour.

Tighter gun laws won't prevent another tragedy. If restricting access to firearms alone were the answer then it would be an easy fix. The real problem is not access to guns - although assault rifles have no place in civilian society - rather it is people.

The cry for "freedom" by people outstrips the obvious. The "right" to bear arms in the US constitution was written at a time when a flintlock musket and a sword were the weapons of the day. It was beyond the conception of the Founding Fathers that a man would devise the weapons of today, never mind the crimes that are committed with them.

There was a reason for that. One that is slowly being eroded from Western society today. The men who wrote the Constitution were largely men of Faith. The document cites Biblical laws as it's foundation. Public Schools had the Bible placed firmly in their midst to provide a moral compass - one missing in those same schools for many years now.

Today's instant gratification society is outstripped only by the desire for acclaim - the "15 minutes" of fame theory. Morgan Freeman succinctly summed it up after the shooting by pointing out that most people know the names of the perpetrators of these crimes while being oblivious of the names of the victims.

Guns don't cause the problems. I live in South Africa, a country damaged by decades of violence, where I hear gunfire almost every night as I lie in my home. Guns are easy to come by and gang wars regularly spill onto the streets. But school massacres? In Kindergartens?

A child was killed by a jealous lover a few years ago in Cape Town, and the horror expressed from the gangs was tangible. Guns are not the problem any more than a collapsing house causes an earthquake or a moving tree causes the hurricane.

The issue of Sin and Mankind's fallen state is never addressed as the cause of tragedies like Newtown. The media hypes up the event and compares previous tragedies to the current one. Our society feeds the fire of a Fallen world with no regard for the consequence, then seeks to blame something else when the monster it created turns on it.

We need collectively to resist this impetus. Take back what the Enemy of our Hearts has taken. We must resist in Christ's name. The media and society will blame an inanimate object before it takes responsibility for the disaster it has caused.

Newtown was horrific, but ultimately why are we surprised? If it hadn't been guns, perhaps it would have been knives. Then there would doubtless be calls for knife controls.

Choose Today to Live

Don Francisco's Facebook Status today came as a reminder to me - quite a stark one - that our outcome is our choice.
 
God told the Children of Israel to choose life or death " I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live" (Deuteronomy 30:19).

Joshua invites the people to choose which god they will serve " “Now therefore, fear the Lord, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord! And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24: 14-15).

Jesus invites us to choose him and life. "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne." (Revelation 3:20-21)

Choice is key in God's Kingdom. God never wanted to be a dictator - not even a benevolent one. He longs for us to come to Him as children, because He loves us, not forces us.


Jesus chose to save us.  He chose the nails. He chose the Cross. He decided to give up Heaven and die on a Cross for us so we could have a relationship with the Father through His sacrifice.





We need to choose for 2013, and every day in it and beyond, to give ourselves over to God. If we do, He will establish His Covenant in our lives. Bad events may still happen to us - probably will in fact. Possibly more.


So choose.

Choose Life in Christ.

Church Definitions

What's the definition of "church"?

It was great to see Mark & Rach Farrin - very dear friends from the UK,  a few weeks ago down here after so long, and it got me thinking about the old gang. "Church" for me wasn't (and isn't) an event once a week in a set location, it's having deep fellowship with a few individuals who challenge, love and respect you enough to say to your face "You're wrong" as much as they'll say "You're right".

Sitting in a building once a week won't make e a Christian any more than sitting in a garage will make me a car. I get daily fellowship with a few people who speak into my life and I speak into theirs - it's real, and not always comfortable. That's Church to me.

Intimate. Personal. Often uncomfortable, but with an unmistakeable undercurrent of Love behind it.

I've been to big churches. Went regularly for several weeks, into months. Then I stopped without telling anyone. After a year nobody had called. My absence was unnoticed.

I've been in small churches. One week I was half an hour late and someone stepped out of the service to phone me and ask if I was ok.

The relationships were different. The small group I was in in Totnes was called TQ9, based on the area code for the town. There were about 25 - 30 in total, and we had clicques like any group. Within the group there were people I was very close to and others not so much. But we spoke into each others lives. We knew one another's stories. We could see by looking at someone if they were troubled.

That was fellowship. That was Church. We met together in each other's homes. We prayed, rejoiced, grieved, laughed and played together. Fellowship. We sharpened one another. Made each other strong.

Now I have only intermittent contact with most of them. A fleeting facebook message that tells me nothing. Once these people were my closest confidantes. They knew when I got engaged. They helped me through the break up. I walked away when my dad was dying - I didn't want their pity and my pride got in the way. I blamed them, but it was me who distanced myself. I stopped taking their calls. My fellowship crumbled because I didn't maintain it.

I went into a dark place, deep depression and 4 suicide attempts later God placed a new fellowship around me that would lift me up and set my feet back on the Rock. They dogged me and hassled me into loving them. Most of them had known me over a year before they heard me laugh or saw me smile. But they Loved me anyway.

Again, it was a faithful few who chose to love me God's way. I am alive today because of their Faithfulness. Dave, Tina, Mark, Rachel, Martin, Louise. Ok, Mark and Rach knew me, but the others just happened. And God Blessed me.

Now in a dark place again there is one person I'll not name here but she knows who she is who, more than anyone else here outside the family has become a strong member of my fellowship. Not because she had to, but because she chose to. We speak into one another's lives regularly, sharing what God is doing.

The Blood of the Lamb and the Word of our Testimony. And slowly we are both seeing the enemy beaten back in our lives by simply worshipping God by doing nothing more than sharing what His love is doing for us and our families. Giving Him the Glory that is His and being humble enough to use the gifts He gives us to speak out to one another.

My church is not where I sit on a Sunday. It's where I have fellowship and feeding. The two are not mutually exclusive, but they are not one and the same either.

Just a thought.

The Cross behind the Manger

It's that time of year again. Tinsel and ridiculous images everywhere portraying the most remarkable event of all time: the incarnation of God Himself.

I get angry at this time of year.

Very angry.

In South Africa we get all the signs: Eid Mubarak! Blessed Diwali! Happy Hannukah! Holiday Greetings!

Wait a minute... "Holiday Greetings!"? What about Christmas?

Shops will use any euphamism they can to avoid the word Christmas.

This year hasn't been an easy one. My friends and family that I care about most have suffered loss and heartache, which makes the Cross behind the Manger more important.

The Christmas story isn't a cute fuzzy tale to warm the heart. It's the beginning of the most violent act of Love God ever did for His children. He took on the form of the ones He came to save. He reached out to us on our level.

Hands that had created the Heavens and Earth had to be taught to feed himself. His nappy had to be changed. He became utterly human, tempted as we are tempted. He would experience stress, hunger, grief, joy. Just like us.

He was persecuted from the day of His birth. The mission starts with genocide. Joseph and his family have to flee to Egypt to escape the slaughter of children Herod orders.

The stable-cave of Bethlehem is replaced with a life on the run. By 12 he is back in Jerusalem, understanding and talking with the leaders of the synagogues and Temple. Amazing them with his insights. Sowing the seeds of Hope into their hearts only to heav Satan sow envy and hatred alongside. How many of the younger leaders He spoke to then called for His murder 20 years later?

The purpose of the manger is the Cross and the Empty Tomb.

Not presents.

Not a cute story.

Victory over Death. Salvation from Hell. Restoration of Relationship with the Creator Incarnate.

Personality vs Character

Ok it's not original, Steven Covey said it first, but we live in a world that venerates Personality over Character today.

God puts Character first though.

Character develops over time. It is forged through experience and often hard knocks. Our decisions shape our characters. Personality is like a mask. We put it on as we leave the house and take it off as we get home. My GP refers to it as "Eleanor Rigby syndrome".

There are examples of the Character vs Personality through Scripture. King Saul had Personality. David had Character. Pharaoh had Personality, Moses had Character.

Having Character doesn't mean doing everything right. It means owning our decisions and choices. Saul tried to blame everyone else. He blamed Samuel for arriving late. He blamed the people for pressuring him. He passed the buck as far as he could, and it cost him everything. He was a Personality leader. The people admired him. He was tall, well built and good looking. He went out with the Prophets and spoke out for God. He led God's people in battle.

David committed adultery with Bathsheba, then had her husband killed to hide his behaviour. Adultery. Murder. Yet God describes him as a Man after God's Heart. Why? Because when the Prophet Nathan comes to David and faces him with his sin, David acknowledges it and repents. He throws himself down before God and weeps over his actions. He owned his choices. He lived up to his Character.

Moses started with Personality. He, Like Paul later, became Character. He owned up to his past mistakes and led the Exodus, risking his own life going before Pharaoh to deliver God's message. After living as a Prince he commits murder and flees to the desert, where he allows God to shape his Character. On his return to Egypt his Personality has been rebuilt into Godly Character by spending time with God. Pharaoh on the other hand is self-obsessed and determined to be the embodiment of his petty-minded deification in Egyptian culture. Even when he summons Moses and Aaron to ask them to pray to get the frogs removed from Egypt, his pride and Personality get in the way. The land of Egypt is overrun by frogs and he summons Moses to ask God to remove them. When Moses asks him 'And Moses said to Pharaoh, “Accept the honor of saying when I shall intercede for you, for your servants, and for your people, to destroy the frogs from you and your houses, that they may remain in the river only.”' his response is driven by his personality - "So he said, “Tomorrow.” And he said, “Let it be according to your word, that you may know that there is no one like the Lord our God". (Exodus 8:9 & 10).

Today we have nations led by Presidents and Prime Ministers who are elected on massive majorities, but their behaviour is less than admirable. They are modern Pharaohs. When faced with their crimes they try to hide by distraction. Then they use what has become known as "spin" to cover up and misrepresent the facts to distract the population from . Sex is redefined by Bill Clinton. Marriage by Jacob Zuma. The concept of Character was eclipsed by Personality. Robert Mugabe started with noble principles. His personality got him support initially, but after so long in power his Character has come through and he turned one of the wealthiest nations in Africa into one of the poorest. It remains to be seen what will happen in Egypt.

Leaders like Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Desmond Tutu all displayed Character in their leadership. They led by example and acknowledged their mistakes. They lived their character day in and day out (and still do in some cases).

Personality is selfish, Character is selfless. A Character leader seeks to serve, a Personality leader promotes himself.

Jesus and the disciples lived by Character. Paul started as a Personality, then God knocked him off his donkey and opened his eyes to the importance of Character. He humbled himself and although a leader in the Jews he went and sat to let God build his Character.

He still wants to do the same for us.

AAAAGH! A Wealthy Christian!

There's a lot of negative stuff been bandied about regarding Christians and money. More experienced people than me have argued this subject and been put down for it. Less experienced have as well.

Young ministers are gently told by their listeners that they will learn the facts with experience. Older teachers are accused of being led astray by pride or greed or envy.

But scripture tells us there is a purpose to prosperity.

A purpose devised by God himself - to establish His Covenant with His People. "Establish" may be better interpreted as "prove". Proof to the people who didn't know Him. Proof to the Faithful of his goodness and provision.

"But you shall [earnestly] remember the Lord your God, for it is He Who gives you power to get wealth, that He may establish His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day" Deuteronomy 8:18 (Amplified)

Given this statement, what makes us think financial prosperity is bad? Yes, there are many corrupt people who are wealthy, but wealth and prosperity are not the same thing. Wealthy men can be owned completely by a spirit of Poverty. They are so money-focussed that they will do anything and everything to hold onto that money. Their drive is to preserve and gather for themselves.

A Prosperous man, conversely, gives. As a result, God places wealth into his hands for redistribution. He becomes a reservoir into which God pours a harvest of resources; financial, physical, whatever the area in which he is blessed. Sometimes it's time. Sometimes it's money. It may even be compassion. He prospers in all areas as a means of confirming the presence of God in his life.

Abraham knew God. Joseph knew God. David knew God. Their prosperity was in multiple areas. They walked with God. They used their relationship with God to draw others to God. Abraham became an entire nation. Joseph saved the greatest civilisation of the day. David gave the largest individual share to build the Temple completed by Solomon. Their prosperity, whilst ultimately financial in manifestation, was an expression of God's presence and Covenant with them in their lives.

Somehow having money has become synonomous with being Godless. Whilst worshipping finances and seeking them for their own sake is clearly opposed to everything the Bible teaches, having financial wealth in and of itself is no more inherently evil than having nothing. Both cause issues for a believer's life. Excess is not what God wants for us, but neither is lack.

Each believer must walk his path with God. We need finances to share the Gospel, and we need clothes and food to live. God knows this, and His prosperity manifests in our lives how we need it in order to demonstrate His covenant with us. He gives us power to create wealth, and allows us to ask so we may receive, but the asking must not be from selfish intentions, but simply and in faith - inspired by Him to do His work.

No Mystery in Unity

I had the priviledge of being at a wedding yesterday. My wife's cousin married his fiancee and they have begun a journey that will change their lives forever.

It put me in mind of the changes that I've seen in the last ten years I've been with my wife, courting for a year, and married for a little over nine now.

I wouldn't change my decision to ask her for anything. It's not been the easiest option, but I'd not want to be anywhere else.

Together we've walked this amazing journey that has seen us encounter joy and pain, loss and heartache, happiness and tragedy. Most of all, however, we've lived with Hope, Love and Faith as our companions.

We've walked through fire - life-threatening illness for both of us - still an ongoing battle - financial prosperity and crushing loss from medical bills. Through it all, Jesus has supported us. The support has come in many forms from many places externally, but through it all there has been a constant theme within the relationship.

Not once have we both hit bottom at the same time. God has aways given one of us the strength to lift the other - even when we couldn't see it until later.

It's 18 months since our lives really changed forever in a way I won't go into now, but in that time He's brought new friends into our life together who have themselves experienced hardships. We've been able to live as a true fellowship.

There's a unity between us. We are united not by our troubles, but by our Hope. Not by the hardships, but by Faith. Not by the bitterness of the past, but by Love carrying us forwards.

The writer to the Hebrews says not to abandon the gathering of the believers. More and more recently I've realised that isn't necessarily a denominational church as such, but rather getting together and sharing our lives on an intimate level with a few close friends.

I've not been a regular attendee of a denominational church since I left Torquay in 2003. I've not given up meeting with believers though. Family and friends who are born-again who we share our Faith with, teaching one another and sharing testimony.

I went to a few denominational churches over the last few years. Even a few house groups. Good people in them, but I felt superfluous. I wasn't necessary to the life of the organisation. It seems to me that the church isn't meant to be an organisation as much as it is an organism. An organisation will continue if parts are missing without change or noticing. Cut a piece off an organism and it stops functioning the way it was designed to.

My fellowship is small right now, but I know the people in it intimately and I trust them enough to let them know me. There's a unity between us. It defines us. There's no mystery in it.

Bucket List

An acquaintance of mine recently published on his facebook status that he was one step closer to fulfilling his Bucket List.

There's nothing wrong with that in principle, except it was the subject of his comment that made me start to think about it.

His Bucket List item was to see a rock group play live.

I thought about this for the last couple of days. It bothered me.


I have a bucket list. I didn't think of it it those terms when I was younger, but it's what it is. Places I want to go, things I want to do during my life. It never occurred to me to put a concert on the list.

My list includes seeing Everest with my own eyes, swimming on the Great Barrier Reef and exploring the Pyramids in Giza. I want to get a pilot's license. I already saw Lions, Elephants & Rhino in their natural habitat, which was on the list.

The top of my list is simple. I want to raise a family, be a good father and loving husband to my wife and children.

My highest aspiration is to walk a closer walk with Christ. Daily.

To be so drawn into Him and His presence that I see through His eyes, feel with His heart, and do what He would do in my place. Heal the sick. Cast out Demons. Raise the dead.

I want to do what He did. To live my life wholeheartedly for God.

That's the whole point, after all. To live - really live - we need to be one with Christ. Man fully alive and united with God through Christ more each day.

So every day I get closer to completing the only thing on my bucket list that really matters.

Illogical Disbelief

Over the last few years I have seen many of my friends and people I care about fall away from their beliefs in Christ. Almost without exception this has been when a storm has come into their life, and the scream goes out "how can God be real if this can happen to me?"

It amazes me that people can have this attitude.

If I take some time here I can list some, not all - that would take too much space, of the storms I have had to endure: my brother's death, watching several members of my family succomb to assorted types of cancer, close friends dying in accidents, chronic illness, my own wife being seriously ill for over 2 years and almost dying 3 times as a direct result.

Psychologists produced a list many years ago of the most traumatic events a person can endure, and gave a corresponding figure to each one, the concept being that if you look at the table and add up the numbers of the events that it would give a total which would indicate the likelihood of depression and mental illness through stress if your total was above a certain number in the preceding 12 months. With a psychologist I went through this list and we stopped counting when my total was 3 times the figure for "highly probable" of a serious stress-induced mental disorder.

Clouds gathered over me, and I was buffetted by the storms in my life, but it never occurred to me that God may not exist.

The Bible clearly says we will experience problems in this world. Jesus says so in John's Gospel. He spends 3 entire chapters talking about it, and how to deal with it (John 14, 15 and 16).

Yet so many professing to be Christians fall apart when adversity comes.

In the parable we generally call the parable of the sower, Jesus talks about the way people receive the seed. It would be more accurate to call it the parable of the soils, because the sower doesn't change, neither does the seed.

The sower sows the seed, but the nature of the soil determines how it grows. Specifically, Jesus warns of people who hear the message, but although it grows in them, other issues either choke it or they never let it take a deep root so when troubles come they have no place to draw strength.

Over the course of my Christian life I've had some friends who have fallen at slight adversity, and some who make my life experiences look like a day at the beach with a picnic and yet have held fast, unwavering in their conviction.

There is a huge difference between going through adversity and choosing to stay there. I know victims of rape and child abuse who have gone both ways, drawing closer to God and running away from Him. Financial struggles have dogged some friends with the same effect.

This life is a fire. It melts us. As we move through, God turns up the heat to mould us to His shape, like a master sword-smith melting and welding to produce a blade that will be useful, enough spring to withstand battle but hard enough to hold a sharpened edge. The Japanese sword makers, the masters of their trade, only make a few swords each year so they can be certain the blades are perfect. They must have the correct blend of steel and the impurities need to be removed by fire.

God refines us the same way. We go through the fire and are melted. He removes things from us as the fire intensifies, and like a sword-smith adds carbon to strengthen the steel, he pours Himself into us to give us strength for the battle.

Life is a fire, and it will melt you. But to say because of adversity that God does not exist is like questioning the existence of the sun because of heavy cloud cover. Nobody in their right mind would do that, yet so many question God's existence when faced with a Spiritual cloud.

There's just no logic in that!

Love (September 2012)

The last few weeks have been difficult, but I've seen love demonstrated in some amazing ways through them.

It's hard to write about specifics, as the people involved are people I care about a great deal and I don't want to break confidences.

I'll start with a simple one.

My wife and I reached our ninth wedding anniversary this week. Over the nine years we've been married, and a little over ten we've known one another, we have been through some hard times. Sickness, brokenness, pain and loss have dogged us physically. We've had problems in these areas both pyhsically and mentally. We've both had to spend time in hospital where we nearly died. We separated briefly due to emotional brokenness, physical and mental pain has been a constant for us both and we have had loss, financial and personal.

Yet through this there's always been something stronger. Love has carried us. Something beyond Human love had kept us together. God's love has been demonstrated to us through our family and friends in spite of the circumstances we've faced. We've had love shown to us in ways beyond the wildest imaginings of our hopes. God's love has been shown to us through incredible generosity. Support has been given us without holding back from places we've never imagined it would come from. Places we expected to find support it didn't come. That's not how God works. The unexpected is where God works. Walking on water, calming storms, feeding multitudes with a lunchbox. That's what He offered us. That's what we received.

I love my wife, she loves me, and we both love Christ more.

Two people I care about, probably more than they know, were assaulted in the last month. I wasn't there. I heard about one through an email, and the other through prayer.

God told me how much He loves one friend, and reminded me how much I can love at the same time. I pray for my friends. In a little under 9 years I've not really had any revelations for any of them. This was different. God took me to a specific scripture not once, but 3 times as I prayed for this friend. He spelt out to me what had happened and how He wanted me to use the gift He gave me to help bring healing.

It takes courage to speak out sometimes. I was scared to, but when I did it was incredible. The friendship has been deepened, ties strengthened, and a deeper and more substantial love has been shown in all directions. My wife and I have been Blessed by this friendship more than can be written here. We've been given the opportunity to love and be loved in return. Love speaks in spite of fear. It works in spite of circumstance. It heals in spite of pain.

There are many ways I can speak of how God's love has been shown to me, but it's recently that I remembered, or more accurately was reminded, that He wants to show it through me as well.

I speak my mind. Sometimes to the point of being blunt. I have no time for petty office politics where senior managers seek to cover their own backs when things get a little uncomfortable. It probably hampers my professional growth in my current position. I'm not happy where I am, and I make no effort to hide it. I don't care what other people think, which is a somewhat dangerous place to be, as it means I say things unexpected. I place a higher value on openness and honesty than promotion and job security. I will support my family and friends as needed because I know God will support me. I look to Him for guidance and wisdom. I seek out His people, but still the only living person whose opinion of me matters to me is my wife.

I'll speak the truth as I understand it. Without apology, and as far as possible without exception. Life's too short for anything else.

One final example of love for tonight.

I own my own business, and my wife works for me. We run it together, and the business is medical. She's a doctor and I'm a businessman.

On Thursday, our anniversary, she tried to help a dog that was knocked down outside our home. In it's pain it attacked her, biting her hands badly. Instead of a quiet evening together in front of the fire, she spent the day at hospital, having her hands treated and I had to leave my "other" job early to make sure she was ok. On Friday she saw a hand-surgeon to make sure there was no permanent damage because of the amount of pain she was in. I took her to the hospital, where she had to have rabies treatment injected into the wound-sites. Her hands were in agony.

Exhausted, we went home and tried to rest. At 11:30pm we got a call from a family concerned about the mother as she was having chest pain. Despite her own injuries, my wife got up and we went to the family's home. She fought to save the lady's life for half an hour, doing CPR with no regard to the aggravation to her own injuries. When it became apparent that her efforts were unsuccessful and the lady had passed away the most important thing became the lady's dignity. Together we moved her from the floor back into her bed, made sure she was covered and looked as peaceful as possible, then called in the family and told them as gently as possible that the lady had passed away.

Love in action - concern for the family's memory of their mother, ensuring her dignity to the last. Little gestures like covering her with a blanket and washing her face so her family would see her at peace and remember that, not the horror of watching CPR being performed.

My wife demonstrated God's love to the family by ensuring they would have as little trauma as possible at that time. We couldn't save the lady, but we could show love to the family, and respect to her.

Love is patient, kind, and does not seek to puff itself up. It's hard being in a position where you have to love someone sacrificially. It's harder not to boast about it.

God gave me opportunities to love and be loved in the last few weeks. He gave opportunities to all of us. Some we take, others we leave. Something He has shown me very clearly is that to receive Love as He would have us receive it, we need to give it as He would give it to us. Freely, honestly and generously.

Hope Retained

I have been thinking a lot about the three things Paul focusses on at the end of 1 Corinthians 13 recently, namely Faith, Hope and Love.

I looked at Faith a few months ago, and then again more recently in Faith Revisited. Hope is something I also wrote about previously, and recently I've had cause to examine the concept again.

Faith is the substance of what we hope for.

Hope.

We have dreams and desires. The enemy of our souls seeks to rip those from us. He seeks to destroy hope. He prowls around like a hungry lion looking for it's prey as Peter writes.

Our lives are full of hopes. We can only hold onto them if we choose to. God gives them to us and we can choose to keep them or leave them as life goes on.

My life has been complicated since I gave my life to Christ. God gave me visions and dreams which grew into hopes. From the day I began to hope in God's way, the enemy has been trying to steal that hope.

Everyone goes through something like that as they get closer to God. I've been a Christian sine 1985. Hopes have come and grown, and the attacks trying to break them down have been relentless. I've seen it in my friends and loved ones too. They get a dream that becomes a hope, and before faith can manifest it into a reality the enemy deals a swift blow to tear it apart.

In my life I've had friends who have been through traumatic events whenever hope has come along. Sickness, assault and death have dogged their every step as they seek to move towards the hope set before them. Loss and pain have been fired at them, and me, in an attempt by the enemy to drive us away from God and the future and the hope He gives us.

And that's the key.

God places the dreams into us. He causes the hope to grow, and gives us the faith to see it manifest. But the only way to overcome the attacks the enemy throws at us is to stand. Paul writes that we should stand wearing God's armour - righteousness, faith, truth, salvation and the readiness to share the hope that is the Gospel.

In this world we will have troubles, but Jesus has overcome the world, and we can too if we lean on Him.

My future changed today. I go to bed a different man than when I woke up. My path is different than it was 12 hours ago, even 6 hours ago. We must be like the great ships of old in our life, constantly keeping our eyes fixed on the prize, and adjusting our course to stay on target.

Your future changed today, but your hope didn't. It's the Hope of Christ, built by the Faith of God for the future He calls you to.

And nothing the enemy throws at you can take it unless you choose to drop it.

By the standards I normally hold myself to, this entry is a ramble. Disjointed and almost discordant.  A very dear friend went through hell recently in their life. Another shared a part of mine and strengthened me. Opportunities came and went, but the end is still the same, and ten thousand years from now as we live with Christ - the ultimate Hope - nothing that happened today will really matter.

Maintaining hope require maintaining perspective. Good and bad happens in this world. But we are world overcomers by Christ.

Faith Revisited

Paul writes in his first letter to the Corinthian Christians that 3 things are eternal. Faith, Hope and Love, Love being the greatest.

Faith is a concept we don't hear about in the correct context often. Organisations with the word in their title exploit people's needs and desires on a daily basis. So-called "faith" healers abound in a climate where desperation is a central part of daily life.

Not far from my home in Cape Town are numerous sub-economic areas. In these areas, the people are surrounded by others who are affluent. The sub-economic areas are surrounded by and border on not just affluent areas, but in some cases obscenely wealthy areas. The people living in them work in these areas, cleaning the houses, tending the gardens and washing the cars they can't afford.

There is also a lot of crime. One area has recently had it postulated that the army should be used to police the area because the gangster activity is resulting in it being overrun by drugs and violence.

In these areas there is despair.

There is a "church" on every corner, usually boasting "faith" in it's title.

The name of Faith is abused daily. Many, not all, but many of these organisations prey on the desperation of the areas. They promise health and prosperity financially if their particular organisation is supported.

Romans 10:17 says "So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God". These orgaisations, and I have heard more than one personally, spend a great deal of time prior to the offering plate being passed round. Their modus operandi is that of trying to convince the listeners to trust them by bombarding them with scripture about giving, tithing and that God will reimburse with added interest. Phrases such as 'give and it will be given to you' and 'hundred-fold increase' are bandied about just before inspirational music is played and the emotions are tugged on. The result is obvious. Poor people part with money, unscrupulous businessmen - I will not call them pastors - get wealthy, then one day the organisation is gone, and the people move on to the next organisation.

So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Faith comes by hearing the Word of God. Repeatedly. Hearing and hearing.

And hearing.

But the Word needs to be given accurately. Completely. Faith is not some abstract concept. It is a real and tangible thing. It is the substance of that we hope for, and the evidence of what we have not yet seen, according to Hebrews 11.

Faith is substance. It creates substance, translates it from the Spiritual world into the physical world.

God created everything we see in the physical world by speaking Faith-filled words. The Word. Even Jesus was spoken into existence - the "Word became flesh" as John puts it. All the Messianic prophecies spoken by the Old Testament prophets literally spoke Jesus into existence in this world. The spoken Word become Jesus's physical flesh.

Our faith is a gift from God, a piece of Himself. He places it into us when we accept Him so we are able to accept Him. Our relationship with Him is based on Faith. His Faith. It makes us come alive. It gives us our hopes and dreams, our desires. The Faith we experience in our relationship with Christ gives us the dreams we need to live a Godly life. To trust Him. He gives us the desires of our hearts - not earthly wants, but His own desires for our lives. He allows us to dream His dreams, to see with His vision.

It all starts with Faith. And it ends with Faith. Faith endures as long as we hold on to it. We can choose to hold onto God's Faith despite our circumstances, despite what is happening at this moment. We can choose to live with an Eternal Perspective as Paul did, not holding to this light affliction, lasting but a moment in the light of eternity. 

Faith is Eternal, everlasting. It always was and always will be there for us. We can pick it up and move with it any time. All we need to do is to look to Jesus. 

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2)

Protection

The last few days have been interesting.

I work for Discovery Health at the moment. Generally I get one or two calls in a day where I can actually make a significant difference to their lives. Sometimes I even have a caller who says something that impacts mine.

On Monday this week (July 2nd) I was transferred to a new team in the call centre. My new Team Leader is a young woman who has been transferred in from Durban. It's a smaller team, and there's an intimacy that comes with that. Monday went well. Had a long talk with her and we hit it off well.

Tuesday was good too. I am feeling positive about the new team, and although I'd still like to move departments as I originally wanted, It'd be ok to stay where I am for now as well.

Yesterday was a bit different though. I set off for what I expected to be a normal day at the office and didn't make it. As I was taking a corner near work, I hit first a painted arrow on the road, then a patch of oil, and finally a rumble strip designed to remind car drivers to slow down. Unfortunately, on a bike what happens is you begin to lose traction on damp road paint, it gets worse, and when you then hit the rumble strip, you lose all grip entirely.

So shortly after this I found myself lying face-down on tarmac, and counting my bones to make sure nothing was broken. Shoulder pain, rib pain, hip joint, split lip and seriously looking at my life from a somewhat different angle than normal.

I got up from the road and apologised to the nice man who I'd shouted at when he tried to take my helmet off. Six hours later I'd been x-rayed, ultrasounded and generally poked and prodded to find out what the problem was.

Apparently the problem was I had attacked a planet by throwing my body against it.

The planet won.

I've ridden motorbikes for some time now. I like the freedom of the wind on my face, so as I ride up this road I normally open my visor. This time I didn't. No particular reason, I just didn't. I always carry my cell phone in my left breast pocket in my leathers. Yesterday I didn't. I put it in my jeans. I've been riding with my chin-strap loose for a while. Yesterday I just had a feeling I should tighten it properly.

Little nudges. Little hints.

I had a strange feeling in myself on the approach. As I got to the previous turn-off I felt like I should take it.

A nudge. A hint.

Ignored.

So now, my bike is stuck awaiting repairs. Arm in a sling, likely for about 6 weeks barring a miracle (which I actually do expect), and the rest of this week off work in more pain than I'd like, but already less than I expected.

I didn't listen to all the nudges God sent me, but thankfully I heard enough of them. My helmet saved my life. Leaving the visor down saved my face. Protection.

God's hints literally saved my life. Had I listened more carefully I'd have saved the bike as well.

He wants the best for His children. God is for us. On our side. guiding if we will only listen.

Andrew Wommack says you only run into the devil ad his work when you are moving against him.

God only gives us what we can handle. What we do with it is up to us. I expect to heal quickly - faster than the doctors predict. Meanwhile I'll be reminded by the pain to listen.

God didn't cause the accident. My own mistakes did that. God didn't tear the tendons in my shoulder. Yesterday's scans showed tears in two tendons. Today's showed less damage to one and none to the other.

He gives us protection. What we need to do is listen.

A Mighty Power

I got a reminder this week. I was reminded of just how powerful I am in Christ.

I didn't see the dead raised, or the blind see, or the lame walk.

Those are mighty works, but they are sirens to announce the real power.

Forgiveness.

It's a small word, and not popular. People have a misconception of it's meaning. We assume it means there are no longer consequences for those actions we've committed.

The real power in forgiveness is freedom. Not for the forgiven, but for the forgiver.

I'd forgotten long ago about some of the freedom I've received from forgiving in my heart the people over the years who have hurt me, either through ignorance, malice, youthful exuberence or unknowingly. The reminder came in the form of an unexpected contact from an individual I'd not heard from or given any thought to in over 20 years.

My brother was killed in an accident when I was young, and this boy reminded me of him. As a result, I took out my hurt and anger at the loss on him, attacking every time. I was a bully, just like some of the people who attacked me.

The contact was initiated by him, because he didn't clearly remember who I was until we reconnected. Once he did, he immedtately recoiled away as the memory of the hurt I'd caused hit him like a slap across the face.

I don't blame him.

I did, however, persue him - not because I felt I wanted his forgiveness for myself, but rather because of the obvious pain the memory caused him, I presume due to unforgiveness towards me.

This is an assumption based from my own experience. I carried a great deal of hurt with me for many years because the people I refused to forgive were, in my opinion, undeserving of forgiveness.

God gets to me sometimes. In my head the conversation will start with Him chatting to me like any friend. Then comes the kicker.

"David?"
"Yes?"
"Do you remember that time when this happened to you and your response was to hold on?"
"What's your point?"
"Let go."
"Huh?" (I can be pretty dumb sometimes)
"Let go."
"Like, forget about it?"
"No, let go."
"Huh?"
"I can't heal that part of you while you're holding on to the unforgiveness towards the person who hurt you. Let go."
"You mean, forgive then?"
Silence. (God lets me think about my latest dumb question.)

This goes on for a while, then I agree and make the decision to forgive.

That's right, the decision.

Forgiveness, like true Love, is not an emotion primarily. It is a choice. We choose to forgive. After the passion of the endorphine rush of emotional love we choose true Love to make a relationship last.

We have to choose to forgive, even when we don't feel like forgiving. The first time we forgive we usually don't have a rush of warm feelings. The memory still burns in us, and we have to often re-visit the choice and make it again. And again.

And again.

Some of the people I disliked most in my youth I now correspond with regularly, and value their input in my life. Others are a work in progress. A few are labelled for review at a later time.

The point is, whenever I have reached the point of forgiveness it has left me feeling stronger and more complete. Closer to God even. Another brick in my defences is removed and replace with strength instead of imperviousness.

After corresponding for some time, there is now communication open between me and my victim - and I do not use the word lightly. My actions towards him were abhorrent to me as I am today. I asked his forgiveness, and apologised for the pain I caused him.

Why am I writing this? It's not for self-promotion, certainly. Although I can see why some people whould assume it might be. I genuinely don't care what most people think of me or what assumptions may be drawn regarding my motives.

I was humbled by the reaction to my apology. People have done less to me than I did to this person, and I have rejected their olive-branches. I am not a great man, but I have been forgiven by God through Christ.

His opinion of me and what I should do is what drives me now, sometimes through gritted teeth, to offer forgiveness as I can. Sometimes He asks and I say no. I carry the pain for longer than I need to because I refuse to just let go.

But ultimately, we all need to reach a point of strength where the only opinion that matters is His, and forgiveness comes easily from the heart, not because the offender deserves forgiving, but because the only person who actually gets hurt when we don't is ourself.

Forgive. Love. It's powerful, revolutionary and healing.

Alone Time

My wife and I recently managed to snatch a few days away. It was a much needed break for both of us. I managed to book a few nights at the cottage we spent our honeymoon in in 2003. It was an amazing experience for me.

The last year's events have been draining for both of us. Her illness and my having to deal with the changes in our lives have had an exhausting effect on us, and we needed to recharge. I managed to book the time off, and was able to contact the owners of Boggomsrus, the cottage in Boggoms Bay we honeymooned at.

I love little wooden cottages by the ocean. They give me a sense of God's presence in a way that only that environment or being alone in the mountains does. We visit a small private nature reserve called Jongensgat, just outside Stillbaai when we can. At that cottage there is no cell-phone reception or TV. Boggomsrus is a bit different in that there is a TV, but the village was almost totally deserted - we saw precisely 1 other person there the whole week.

After we got home, my wife went up to Namibia without me to visit her grandmother. I spent the week she was away caught up in my own thoughts. I don't generally do well alone these days. My sleep pattern went to pieces and didn't manage to get back on track until she came back a week later.

The time alone gave me a chance to sit and listen to God in a way I don't get to do very often. I realised how important it is to really take time to stop and listen. It started while we were away. One afternoon while she was sleeping I sat out on the deck, watching the sun set and listening to the ocean quietly breaking on the beach below us. It was quite cathartic. After the sun set, the stars began to come out. In the evening the sky was totally clear and the entire Milky Way was visible in a way I never saw in the Northern Hemisphere. It was incredible - like all creation was singing praises to it's creator. I could understand why the ancient people were drawn into worshipping the creation, but more importantly I felt like I had an insight into Jesus's motives for seeking solitude when He went to pray.

The Chinese say the sound of the wind in bamboo is like the whisper of God's voice. I get the concept. I could feel His presence and join in the praises being sung by creation. The sound of the ocean, the sparkle of the galaxy. I understand what Jesus said when He told the Pharisees that if the people stopped worshipping the rocks would worship. It makes sense. Alone we get to experience the wonder of God's own creation singing to Him. We can quiet our heart and listen to Him sing back.

Alone time is an essential tool. We have the opportunity when we're alone to wait on Him in a way we can't during the bustle of normal life. Jesus withdrew from the crowds to spend time alone with His Father. If He needed to, then we need to as well.

Unforgiven

Unforgiven

I love Clint Eastwood's movies. Especially the westerns. The image of the unstoppable lone gunman fighting for justice - even vengeance - is ingrained in my memory as a young man.

Eastwood's heroes,  or more correctly protagonists, are tough men. They are resourceful and ingenious in their dealings. I admire that.

One protagonist in particular sticks with me. It's the character of William Munney, the central character in the movie "Unforgiven". He's left the world of gunfighting behind, raising pigs with his children since his wife died, and all the time carrying the weight of his former life. He comes face to face with it when a youngster comes to ask for his help as a hired gun to exact vengeance - paid, naturally - for an attack on a town prostitute.

He brings his old partner along, but his heart is obviously heavy. They ride to the town, and before they can carry out the shooting the youngster riles him and his old partner is killed - his body put on display.

In typical Eastwood fashion, he exacts revenge for the killing, violently and swiftly, killing the corrupt town sheriff and what seems to be all the available deputies. He growls at the town to give his friend a decent burial and leaves breathing fury and cursing them, goes back to his children and as the film ends we see the caption saying his late wife's mother came to find her, but found only her grave, the family have gone.

The gunman is shown as innately human. He is haunted by his past, and although his wife forgave it and loved him for who he could be, he clearly never forgave himself. He never truly found peace, and never escaped the guilt he carried.

I find of all the heroes, anti-heroes and protagonists in the movies I've seen in my 40 years, I identify with this character most. I want to be Gibson's William Wallace from "Braveheart", or Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, or Maximus in "Gladiator", but I struggle. My past weighs on me like a millstone I carry.

Jesus said something of this. He invited us to share His yoke instead of our own. To place our burdens, our past, on His shoulders. We were never designed to carry these burdens.

He offers forgiveness to us. Freely. All we need do is accept His sacrifice. But then I look at the way He teaches the disciples to pray. That famous "Lord's Prayer". He tells us to ask God to forgive us as we forgive others. Seems innocuous, but think about it for a moment. As we forgive those who sin against us. That means forgive me the way I forgive them. Use my measure of forgiveness back at me.

Scary stuff.

I still have anger towards some people from my youth who bullied me. I wrestle every day with some of it. Have I forgiven them? Frankly, no! Some of those wounds went so deep I have spent 20 years avoiding school reunions so I don't run into them. I moved away from my home town to avoid them, and while moving to a different country wasn't to get away from them, the knowledge it was so unlikely I'd bump into them at the local store on holiday was a happy thought.

I have friends whose marriages have been damaged by affairs. Some forgave, saw there was fault on both sides and moved on together. Those marriages survived and have thrived since, both partners forgiving and loving one another, putting it behind them and moving on together.

Some have had one partner who refused to forgive the "cheating" partner. They throw away the marriage through unforgiveness and out of spite. Often, these unforgiving partners spend years angry and resentful, holding on to unforgiveness of the other party. The person they won't forgive usually moves on and finds happiness again, and the unforgiven has peace, whilst the unforgiving is twisted by what went before.

Repentance and acceptance of God's forgiveness of us is the key. Eastwood's gunman never embraces it. How many of us walk through life the same way, burdened with guilt or anger over the past, refusing either to forgive or accept forgiveness?

It's a hard way to live. I know this, yet I struggle daily with it. I want to know the freedom of Christ's yoke. I need to know it. But my "old man", as Paul puts it, wants them to suffer.

In the end, the only person unforgiveness hurts is the person who won't forgive.

We should remember that.

The Insidious Nature of the World

I've been having a lot of thoughts recently about sex. Not in the World's way, but from how the World's thinking has permeated the mainstream Christian life.

Over the last few years I have actually heard leaders in local churches state that there are worse things you can do than sleep with your girlfriend. And they said this in youth services, youth groups and I've heard it from individual counselling sessions too.

Comparing this attitude to Paul's letter to the church in Corinth there is a massive difference.

"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." (1 Corinthians 6:15-20)


We get this teaching that our bodies are the Temple of the Spirit, but we skip the part often about how to keep it clean. Everywhere we turn today there are images of a sexual nature around us. Walking through the local stores almost every magazine that is not about country life or re-decorationg carries a picture of a girl, usually in little or no clothing, and boasting how to improve sex, increase endurance or prolong orgasm. Even Christian magazines are not always immune from the pictures, although the articles, usually, are less explicit.


The attitude of the World is clear. Sex is normal in any encounter - and the answer to infections is not abstinence but condoms. If you don't experiment sexually then you get branded as wierd. A colleague from my work who is married recently showed me a photo she'd found online and asked me if I'd "tap" the girl in the picture. She was horrified when I said I wouldn't consider looking because I was married.


Now I'll admit I'm not perfect, and as most men are visually visually wired - and I'm no exception - I have to work at not seeing things sometimes. Summer is often a difficult time for me as the outfits women are coerced into wearing by fashion designers are smaller each year, and the women as a result show more and more of themselves. It is put forward as their "right" to wear what they want. There is no understanding that there are consequences for exercising those rights. Men have a responsibility to themselves to behave appropriately under all circumstances, but the World will tell us that it's impossible to do other than your hormone's drive.


The concept of self-regulation when it comes to our sex lives has been laughed at. Young men seem to believe that because they spent money on dinner they are entitled to sex in return. 

The World's views are insipid. They act inside like a cancer, eating away at the fabric of our self until they leave us hollow shells of what God intended us to be. We can treat the cancer by using the Word to overcome it. Our lives can be transformed, or they can be conformed to the World.

Personally, I want to make a difference.

Walking through the Wasteland and fighting Giants

If you didn't know from the titles recently, I'm a big fan of Bruce Wilkinson. I've been reading some of his books over the last few months, and recognising the Truths in them.

In particular, I've been reading 2 of the "dream-giver" series. The original, and also the one for couples.

My experiences in the last 10 years have many of the aspect of Ordinary's life. I left my familiar country, travelled to a new place, enduring trials, experiencing victories and hardships and trying to grow closer to God through all of it.

Recently, well about a year ago actually, I'd started to feel a tug to move on again. My writing was a bit stalled, so I started this blog, and I'd finally completed the degree I'd grown comfortable studying for.

My wife and I started planning the year, what we wanted to do and where we wanted to be, and we pushed off. Immediately, we hit Wasteland. Problems and little issues started cropping up, and then we hit the Giants. To be more accurate, Giant.

We'd been planning many things for 2011, and what we ended up with has pushed it all backwards. I'm not going to go into all the details now, but the highlights have been losing health and financial security. It's been nearly a year, and we're still fighting them both.

But God has been good.

But God has been Faithful.

"But God"

Those 2 words have sustained me over the last year.

Joseph said them to his brothers. The sentiment is echoed through the sufferings in the entire scripture, Old and New Testament. "But God".

The disciples were bailing water from the boat, But Jesus slept in peace. The friends berated Job, But God restored him. Saul persecuted the Disciples, BUT GOD broke through religious mindset.

Giants spring up everywhere. The spies went into the Promised Land and reported they were there. Joshua and Caleb waited 40 years to say "BUT GOD" and claim their inheritance, the only ones who saw slavery and fullness of deliverance.

Peter points out that "your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5,8). He's a giant in many ways, but the authority he has is limited to what we give him. We can fight this giant by simply submitting to God and setting ourselves against him. He's a toothless old cat, and we have to climb into his mouth and allow him to chew us.


It's a hard reality, but our authority to overcome the giants really is as simple as that. In his books, Bruce Wilkinson has Ordinary slay the giants with nothing but a feather. Jesus said we just need faith as a mustard seed to prevail.


I'm still fighting giants, but I'm learning all the time. We all need to.